SYS-CON MEDIA Authors: Gilad Parann-Nissany, Srinivasan Sundara Rajan, Sean Houghton, Glenn Rossman, Ignacio M. Llorente

News Feed Item

All Five Great Lakes Relocate Farther South

"Super annoying" polar vortex cited as rationale for departure

BATON ROUGE, La., April 1, 2014 /PRNewswire/ -- Fed up with the polar vortex that has brought the harshest winter since the discovery of Seasonal Affective Disorder, the Great Lakes have collectively issued a change of address and relocated to a warmer climate, according to geography experts at Rand McNally. All five of the lakes have moved to an area stretching from southern Louisiana to the Lake of the Ozarks. The new Great Lakes settlement occupies what was previously land between the longitudinal meridians 95 degrees W and 81 degrees W.

The five siblings stress that the move was not a rash decision. They carefully considered the route over the course of several weeks, and would have left at the end of February, but had to wait for a permit from the Freshwater Fish Federation. They finally departed on Sunday, March 23, heading southwest along the Illinois River. They stopped to rehydrate in St. Louis, and continued south along the Mississippi River to their final destinations.

"It was rather treacherous," Lake Erie, the baby of the bunch, said. "I wasn't entirely sure we'd make it. Fortunately, I brought snacks." Lake Erie has taken with him the famed Niagara Falls and leaves Canadian/U.S. hydroelectricity options up in the air.

For Lake Michigan, the delay was unwarranted. "I was totes looking forward to Mardi Gras and St. Paddy's Day down here in Louisiana," she lamented. Lake Michigan leaves behind some 12 million residents of Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana and Michigan without a waterfront. Bemused boaters puzzled over a mud-scrawled note reading, "Glacier wuz here."

Lake Huron said, "I feel like I was just stuck in the middle on this one. I don't know that I would have moved at all, frankly, but we've just got to make the best of it. The important thing is that HOMES* stays together. We gotta represent."

Lake Superior could not be bothered and had no comment.

In an official statement, Lake Ontario, agent/publicist for the Great Lakes, said he will dearly miss his moose friends, as well as sunsets over Toronto. In an unofficial statement, the Georgian Bay said he woke up the morning of Monday, March 24, to find his neighbors had gone, adding, "I'd think it'd be better to tell a guy instead a leavin' in the middle a the night, eh?" The Georgian Bay also remarked that it will be nice to walk around in his underwear and not have to pull the shades.

The Finger Lakes of New York have planned a visit later this summer. Beyond this housewarming party, the Great Lakes' future plans are uncertain. "We haven't decided if this is a permanent move, or if we'll just be snowbirds from now on," they say. "We'll have to see how it goes down here. For now, we're just gonna soak it all in."

*For crossword puzzle nerds, HOMES is an acronym for the Great Lakes: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie and Superior.

About Rand McNally - Rand McNally is the country's most trusted source for maps, navigation, and travel content. Having been around since 1856, the company has endured pranks, looking for things that don't exist, and moving lines around for 158 years. Happy April Fool's Day!

SOURCE Rand McNally

More Stories By PR Newswire

Copyright © 2007 PR Newswire. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of PRNewswire content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of PRNewswire. PRNewswire shall not be liable for any errors or delays in the content, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon.

Latest Stories
An entirely new security model is needed for the Internet of Things, or is it? Can we save some old and tested controls for this new and different environment? In his session at @ThingsExpo, New York's at the Javits Center, Davi Ottenheimer, EMC Senior Director of Trust, reviewed hands-on lessons with IoT devices and reveal a new risk balance you might not expect. Davi Ottenheimer, EMC Senior Director of Trust, has more than nineteen years' experience managing global security operations and asse...
SYS-CON Events announced today that Gridstore™, the leader in hyper-converged infrastructure purpose-built to optimize Microsoft workloads, will exhibit at SYS-CON's 16th International Cloud Expo®, which will take place on June 9-11, 2015, at the Javits Center in New York City, NY. Gridstore™ is the leader in hyper-converged infrastructure purpose-built for Microsoft workloads and designed to accelerate applications in virtualized environments. Gridstore’s hyper-converged infrastructure is the ...
What do a firewall and a fortress have in common? They are no longer strong enough to protect the valuables housed inside. Like the walls of an old fortress, the cracks in the firewall are allowing the bad guys to slip in - unannounced and unnoticed. By the time these thieves get in, the damage is already done and the network is already compromised. Intellectual property is easily slipped out the back door leaving no trace of forced entry. If we want to reign in on these cybercriminals, it's hig...
SYS-CON Events announced today that Cloudian, Inc., the leading provider of hybrid cloud storage solutions, will exhibit at SYS-CON's 16th International Cloud Expo®, which will take place on June 9-11, 2015, at the Javits Center in New York City, NY. Cloudian, Inc., is a Foster City, California - based software company specializing in cloud storage software. The main product is Cloudian, an Amazon S3-compliant cloud object storage platform, the bedrock of cloud computing systems, that enables c...
15th Cloud Expo, which took place Nov. 4-6, 2014, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA, expanded the conference content of @ThingsExpo, Big Data Expo, and DevOps Summit to include two developer events. IBM held a Bluemix Developer Playground on November 5 and ElasticBox held a Hackathon on November 6. Both events took place on the expo floor. The Bluemix Developer Playground, for developers of all levels, highlighted the ease of use of Bluemix, its services and functionalit...
The 3rd International Internet of @ThingsExpo, co-located with the 16th International Cloud Expo - to be held June 9-11, 2015, at the Javits Center in New York City, NY - announces that its Call for Papers is now open. The Internet of Things (IoT) is the biggest idea since the creation of the Worldwide Web more than 20 years ago.
The 4th International DevOps Summit, co-located with16th International Cloud Expo – being held June 9-11, 2015, at the Javits Center in New York City, NY – announces that its Call for Papers is now open. Born out of proven success in agile development, cloud computing, and process automation, DevOps is a macro trend you cannot afford to miss. From showcase success stories from early adopters and web-scale businesses, DevOps is expanding to organizations of all sizes, including the world's large...
P2P RTC will impact the landscape of communications, shifting from traditional telephony style communications models to OTT (Over-The-Top) cloud assisted & PaaS (Platform as a Service) communication services. The P2P shift will impact many areas of our lives, from mobile communication, human interactive web services, RTC and telephony infrastructure, user federation, security and privacy implications, business costs, and scalability. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Robin Raymond, Chief Architect...
"ElasticBox is an enterprise company that makes it very easy for developers and IT ops to collaborate to develop, build and deploy applications on any cloud - private, public or hybrid," stated Monish Sharma, VP of Customer Success at ElasticBox, in this SYS-CON.tv interview at DevOps Summit, held Nov 4–6, 2014, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA.
DevOps is all about agility. However, you don't want to be on a high-speed bus to nowhere. The right DevOps approach controls velocity with a tight feedback loop that not only consists of operational data but also incorporates business context. With a business context in the decision making, the right business priorities are incorporated, which results in a higher value creation. In his session at DevOps Summit, Todd Rader, Solutions Architect at AppDynamics, discussed key monitoring techniques...
Explosive growth in connected devices. Enormous amounts of data for collection and analysis. Critical use of data for split-second decision making and actionable information. All three are factors in making the Internet of Things a reality. Yet, any one factor would have an IT organization pondering its infrastructure strategy. How should your organization enhance its IT framework to enable an Internet of Things implementation? In his session at Internet of @ThingsExpo, James Kirkland, Chief Ar...
The 3rd International @ThingsExpo, co-located with the 16th International Cloud Expo - to be held June 9-11, 2015, at the Javits Center in New York City, NY - announces that it is now accepting Keynote Proposals. The Internet of Things (IoT) is the most profound change in personal and enterprise IT since the creation of the Worldwide Web more than 20 years ago. All major researchers estimate there will be tens of billions devices - computers, smartphones, tablets, and sensors - connected to th...
In her General Session at 15th Cloud Expo, Anne Plese, Senior Consultant, Cloud Product Marketing, at Verizon Enterprise, focused on finding the right mix of renting vs. buying Oracle capacity to scale to meet business demands, and offer validated Oracle database TCO models for Oracle development and testing environments. Anne Plese is a marketing and technology enthusiast/realist with over 19+ years in high tech. At Verizon Enterprise, she focuses on driving growth for the Verizon Cloud platfo...
The Internet of Things will greatly expand the opportunities for data collection and new business models driven off of that data. In her session at @ThingsExpo, Esmeralda Swartz, CMO of MetraTech, discussed how for this to be effective you not only need to have infrastructure and operational models capable of utilizing this new phenomenon, but increasingly service providers will need to convince a skeptical public to participate. Get ready to show them the money!
"Matrix is an ambitious open standard and implementation that's set up to break down the fragmentation problems that exist in IP messaging and VoIP communication," explained John Woolf, Technical Evangelist at Matrix, in this SYS-CON.tv interview at @ThingsExpo, held Nov 4–6, 2014, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA.